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AITA for not accepting this birthday gift?

· 3 min read

The Birthday Card That Wasn't a Card​

So, picture this: you’re 21, the big “adult” milestone, and you’re practically buzzing with excitement about the future. You’ve been saving up for a new laptop, maybe a tiny apartment, and you’ve just applied for a credit card in your own name—the classic rite of passage for any soon‑to‑be‑adult. Then your mom decides to surprise you with the ultimate birthday gift: a brand‑new credit card, signed in your name.

Your first thought? “Oh, um… okay.” You’re like, “Mom, I just got a card. I’m not even sure how it works yet.” But then she hits you with the classic “I already did that for you” line, and you’re left feeling like a kid who’s been handed a blank present instead of a blanket.

The next morning, you politely ask her to not do it again. Cue the dramatic mom‑freakout: yelling, “You’re ungrateful!” “You’re disrespectful!” “I’m not the enemy!” She even mentions that her friends and boyfriend think it’s a great gift. You defend yourself—“It’s not a gift, Mom.” And she says, “Shut up.” Classic.

You’re now stuck in a week of emotional limbo, a credit card you didn’t ask for, and a mother who’s gone full “I’m the hero” mode. You’re thinking about moving out, but the bank account says otherwise. So you’re asking the big question: am I the asshole for not accepting this birthday gift?

The Comment Section (Because Reddit is Life)​

Comment 1
“Cancel the card your mom set up IMMEDIATELY! She could have added herself as a secondary on the account, giving herself access to see what you've bought and even to use a second card that you'd be liable for paying/ruining your credit. What she did is illegal as well. My uncle's ex gf set up a card in her son's name, ran up $50k in debt and ended up in jail over it. (His dad pressed charges when he found out.)”

Comment 2
“FREEZE YOUR CREDIT!! Please lock down your credit with all three bureaus. Locking it is free. You will be asked to create a password so make sure you have a paper and pen to write it down, but do not let your mother have access to it. It This is a personal violation for your mother to do this. NTA”

Comment 3
“NTA. That's not a birthday gift, that's identity theft.
Freeze your credit at all credit reporting agencies so she can't “give” you this “gift” again. Also, maybe cancel that card - she may have spending access to it.”

Comment 4
“Here, honey! I got you a credit card with your name on it - and it even comes with a balance!!! 🍾Happy birthday!! 🎈”

Comment 5
“NTA Her applying for a credit card in your name is FRAUD.
I would highly recommend that you create a username and password for all of the credit bureaus and FREEZE YOUR CREDIT EVERYWHERE. Put on an additional fraud alert for good measure.”

TL;DR​

Your mom’s surprise credit card is basically a “gift” with a side of identity theft. Cancel it, freeze your credit, and maybe give her a stern, “I’m not your personal credit manager.” The only way to survive this birthday card debacle is to act like a responsible adult—just not the adult who actually uses the card for pizza.