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AITA for refusing to do free work for my kids' stepfather?

· 3 min read

When your electrician union badge meets a stepdad who thinks “real tradesmen” don’t need a union, sparks fly—literally.

The Drama​

I’m an electrician and proud union member. My ex and I share custody of three kids, and after a rough divorce she remarried a guy—let’s call him Brad—who’s been dating her for six months. Brad works in the trades too, but he’s a self‑employed IT network guy doing small, non‑union gigs.

A few weeks ago, Brad showed up at my daughter’s volleyball game. He tossed out a line in front of me: “Real tradesmen don’t need to be in a union.” I was wearing my union‑logo tee, so he could have seen the irony. I stayed calm and didn’t bite.

Then this morning, my ex called out of the blue. “Brad needs a panel checked at one of his jobs,” she said. “Could you just swing by? It’ll only take a few minutes, and you’d technically be working for Brad.”

I explained that union rules say you can’t do a side job outside of your shop, and that I charge everyone the same rate. She retorted, “You’re going to make a big deal out of this with my husband?” I told her, “He can hire his own subcontractors or pay me like everyone else.” Now she’s calling me petty and saying I’m causing tension just because Brad lives with the kids. I told her professionalism isn’t petty—I don’t give free labor to people who disrespect my trade.

So, am I the asshole for refusing to do free work for my ex’s husband?

The Comments​

  • This is more of a Karma‑based shituation, and it’s hilarious!
    My next Union shirt printed would say “So good your wife calls me for ‘favors…’”
    You’re NTA brother, enjoy that stupidity!

  • Yeah now I gotta make this shirt.

  • I have a shirt that says
    “I’m a mechanic, that means I’m the guy your wife calls when you can’t bust a nut.”
    It triggers so many dudes.

  • He wishes he was in a union.
    NTA. Don’t jeopardize that for this guy. I wouldn’t put it past him to ‘let it slip’ and try to get you in trouble, if that’s a thing.

  • Especially after what he said. He is playing with OP.

TL;DR​

You’re the hero—union badge, no free labor, no drama. Brad gets his own subcontractor, or he’ll have to deal with a union‑respecting electrician who won’t give away his tools. The kids? They’ll still get the best work, whether it’s paid or not.