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My Co‑Worker’s “Friendship” Is a Full‑Time Mystery Show

· 4 min read

“She’s the first person I’ve ever met who behaves like this.” – Original Poster

The Setup​

So I landed a new gig about eight months ago. I didn’t really click with anyone at first—typical first‑month office vibe. Then I met Samantha (no, that’s not her real name, but it rolls off the tongue), and we started hanging out. Soon we added Two Guys (yes, their names are literally “Two Guys” on the team roster), and the four of us became the office lunch squad.

The scene was set:

  • Samantha – the “girl who always has her phone in hand.”
  • Two Guys – the “boring but friendly” guys who are actually, well, boring.
  • Me – the unsuspecting observer.

The First Glitch​

In the beginning, Samantha didn’t want to sit with the two guys because she thought they were “boring.” I told her, “You can sit wherever you want.” She replied, “It doesn’t matter, I’ll sit wherever you sit.”
I was like, “Wait, are we playing a hypothetical game? Because you’re the one who spends 75% of the time on her phone.”

The Mini‑Drama Chronicles​

  • “Did you see what she did?”
  • “She said this to me…”

Her favorite pastime is turning mundane office events into mini‑drama episodes. If you’ve ever wanted a daily soap opera, she’s your person.

The “Little Lies” Saga​

Wrong birthday.
Changing wedding details.
Lying about her sister’s age.

These are small, harmless‑ish lies. But they’re constant. That’s like cheesecake on the menu that’s always there—sweet, but you’re not sure if you can handle the calories.

The result? I can’t trust a word she says.

The “Home‑Life” Fantasy​

Samantha says she’s 28‑29 and that her mom still cooks all her meals, combs her hair twice a day, and handles everything.
She’s getting married soon but still claims her mother does everything for her.

Is she trying to paint a “sweet‑sized mom‑in‑a‑blazer” image? Or is she actually living that dream? The only thing I’m sure of is she’s got a creative imagination.

The “Please Include Me” Routine​

  • She sits on her phone during lunch.
  • One colleague suggests, “Let’s include her more.”
  • She gives very short answers and says, “Yeah, what else?” when the conversation stalls—like she’s expecting all of us to entertain her.

She claims the four of us are friends, but it feels like a forced sitcom plot.

The “Personal Questions” Paradox​

She asks very personal questions but refuses to share her own.
She’s a social boundary connoisseur—if you’re unsure, she’ll give you a blank stare and walk away.

The “When I Cry” Incident​

One day, I was genuinely upset and cried at work. Samantha saw me, did NOT come over, did NOT ask what was wrong, did NOT comfort me.
Later, she talked about how we’re all such friends.

Spoiler Alert: She’s a ghost when it comes to empathy.

The Vibes​

  • Haunted doll vibes
  • Pick‑and‑choose friend energy
  • We’re all close, but no effort

If you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering whether you should keep her at arm’s length. The comments on Reddit say the same.

What the Comments Say​

“This girl has the vibes of a haunted doll that got a chance to go be a real person. Disengage.”

— Comment #1

🤣🤣🤣

— Comment #2

“Enjoy the weirdness of it all!”

— Comment #3

“Trust your gut”

— Comment #4

“Yeah she gives off that weird pick‑and‑choose friend energy. Super into the we’re all close aesthetic but none of the actual effort. I’d keep her at arm’s length honestly. People who lie about tiny stuff usually lie about big stuff too.”

— Comment #5

TL;DR​

  • Samantha is a social conundrum.
  • She’s full of lies, drama, and fantasy.
  • She’s a ghost when you need her.
  • The consensus? Disengage.

Final Word​

If you’re thinking about inviting her to your next office party or coffee break, pause.
If you’re a fan of “the weird office sitcom” and love suspenseful drama, then maybe keep an eye on her.
But if you value trust and real friendship, this might be the end of your office buddy saga.

Disclaimer: This blog post is based on a Reddit thread and personal observations. All opinions are my own and not professional advice.