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Is my coworker being left out or is this justified?

· 3 min read

Picture a tiny, newly hired hero—let’s call them the Newbie—who just moved to a new town (aka the office) and landed a job in a department of six. Their first assignment? Learn the ropes, keep the lights on, and somehow avoid becoming the office's unofficial “office therapist.”

Enter Jane. Jane had been doing the same job before the Newbie, but then she took a medical leave just a few days after the Newbie started. The department, ever the drama queen, warned the Newbie that “you’ll like Jane personally but you’ll hate her professionally.”

Why?

  • Jane procrastinates like it’s an Olympic sport.
  • She makes errors that would make a toddler blush.
  • She’s the office’s version of “I read your screen because I can” and “Let me pick up your desk, read it, and then leave a note.”

The rest of the crew, and the manager who apparently thinks they’re the Great Facilitator, have started recruiting the Newbie for extra projects—development sprints, company events, the whole shebang. Jane, on the other hand, keeps pointing out that she never got asked to do any of that, and the team is baffled why she’s suddenly making a fuss about it.

The Newbie is feeling the weight of guilt. They’re being asked to do volunteer work, but Jane seems to be left out. They’re not sure if they should decline the gigs to make Jane feel more included, or how to brush off her snarky comments when she pops up.

TL;DR​

You’re the new kid in a six-person crew. Jane, the former co‑worker, is feeling left out because you’re being asked to do extra projects. She’s snarky, you’re guilty. The solution? Invite Jane to join you on a project, give her a chance to prove she’s not a liability, and keep your manager in the loop so no one feels like a scapegoat.

Comments (with the usernames politely removed)​

  • The office’s hiring team apparently had a hard time finding someone who would actually do the extra stuff, so they hired the Newbie. Jane is now feeling jealous because she never wanted to do the extra work, yet the Newbie is actually doing it. Everyone else just wants to keep the status quo, so the Newbie is the hero for now.

  • Don’t decline any of the work opportunities. Instead, consider inviting Jane to collaborate on a project that lines up with her interests. Offer to help her up‑skill if she flaked before, and remember that a little psychological safety goes a long way in the office jungle.

  • If the Newbie’s boss was the one who recruited them, it’s not the Newbie’s job to recruit Jane for other committees. Keep the lines of communication open with management, but don’t try to become the “go‑between” for Jane.

  • Jane is feeling threatened and is acting like she’s expendable. The Newbie should encourage her to advocate for herself. When Jane brings it up, tell her to talk to the manager about extra assignments if she wants them, but don’t let her guilt the Newbie into ignoring her own opportunities.

  • The Newbie should not decline. Just let Jane know that if she wants to work on the same projects, she should discuss it with the manager. Then, casually ask if she’d like to join the weekend barbecue—just to keep the vibes friendly.