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Fired for Theft

· 4 min read

TL;DR: 25‑year smelter veteran loses his cushy union job after selling a dozen packs of plain gardening gloves to hardware stores. The real crime? Turning a 12‑pack of cotton gloves into a black‑market empire.

When you think of “high‑risk” jobs, you might picture skydivers or hackers. In the world of aluminum smelting, the real danger is… gloves.

The Great Glove Escapade​

For a quarter of a century, one employee worked at an aluminum smelter in Washington State. The job was the sort you could retire from: great pay, solid benefits, and the sweet, sweet security of union protection. The only rule? Don’t sell your gloves.

Every now and then, security would pop by the lunch‑box area to do a quick visual check. One day, a fellow employee was heading to the time‑card shack to clock out. While security was busy inspecting lunch boxes, a second guard—ever‑watchful, as if he were a second‑hand detective—spied him heading back into the locker room.

“Show me your lunch box,” the guard demanded. Inside? Twelve packs of the company’s standard white cotton gardening gloves. Not a fortune, but apparently this guy thought he was running a high‑stakes glove black market.

“Got lost my key,” he muttered. Security cut the lock and discovered an additional twelve packs hidden inside. He was fired on the spot. The union might have been a safety net, but it wasn’t a shield against a glove‑peddling scandal.

Note: The gloves were nothing special—just plain white cotton, no hidden enchantments, no “glove‑to‑glove” magic. Yet here we are, chronicling the downfall of a man who tried to turn his lunch‑room inventory into a side hustle.

Commentaries from the Glove‑Frequented Community​

We asked Reddit’s finest for their take on this glove‑gone‑wild saga, and here’s what the comments had to say (in a very, very dry, non‑username‑bearing form):

  • The “Broom Hoarding” Tale
    An office employee once got fired for hoarding brooms—seven identical ones, to be exact. It turned out to be a staged downsizing plan involving fake hires and private investigators, which left 25 people fired and many more bitter retirees. The lesson? Don’t be the guy who thinks he can stash household items and get away with it.

  • Titanium Smelter Fuel‑Filling Fiasco
    A young engineer at a titanium smelter saw fuel levels rising, prompted by management’s new “monitoring” policy. A crew member was caught at three a.m. filling his personal oil vessel—again, a cushy union job taken for a gamble. The moral: fuel is not a snack.

  • Hand Sanitizer Hoarder
    During COVID, a worker at a specialty manufacturing plant stole two gallons of hand sanitizer to sell for $48. She traded a steady paycheck and benefits for a small, sanitizing sum. We’re still baffled by the thought process behind turning essential protective gear into quick cash.

  • Polaroid Film Theft
    Back in the 80s, a police academy trainee got fired for stealing a pack of Polaroid film. Apparently, even law enforcement can’t resist a good vintage camera supply.

Lessons Learned​

  1. Don’t Treat Office Supplies Like Stock – Even the most ordinary items can become the centerpiece of a “black market” if you’re not careful.
  2. Union Jobs Aren’t Immune – A solid union doesn’t mean you can get away with every misstep.
  3. The Temptation of Quick Cash – The allure of a small profit can sometimes eclipse the value of a stable career.
  4. The Power of Security Checks – Random checks can catch even the most sneaky of employees.

TL;DR​

A 25‑year smelter veteran gets fired for selling 12 packs of plain white cotton gloves to hardware stores. Comments reveal a world where office supplies become commodities, union jobs aren’t a shield, and a few employees turn everyday items into their own “black market.” The moral: Even if your job is “untouchable,” a few cheap gloves can still put you on the wrong side of HR.