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Boomers' $17 Trillion Trust Fund: A Tale of Nursing Homes, Thank‑You Cards, and Corporate Profit Wars

· 4 min read

Ever heard the phrase “money is a good servant but a bad master”? Well, in the United States it turns out that the servant is a baby‑boomer, the master is a private‑equity firm, and the master’s job is to make a killing while the servant is just… eating a thank‑you card.

The Story So Far​

Picture this: a group of boomers holding a staggering $17 trillion in assets. Not the kind of money that goes on the “richest people in the world” list – we’re talking about the kind that sits in savings accounts, 401(k)s, and the occasional offshore shell that makes a family lawyer’s hairline look full again. The question on everyone’s lips? What happens to that treasure trove once the boomers finally kick the bucket?

The answer, as it turns out, isn’t the heartwarming tale of grandchildren inheriting a golden goose. Instead, it’s a nursing‑home‑cooked drama featuring private‑equity firms, assisted‑suicide debates, and a very pricey thank‑you card.

Private‑Equity, the New Generation’s Best Friend (or Worst)​

When boomers decide to retire (or simply die), the bulk of their assets doesn’t just vanish into the ether. It finds a new home: private‑equity firms that specialize in elder‑care. These firms run nursing homes with the same zeal as a fast‑food franchise, but with a twist: the goal is to keep the lights on and the profits high.

“The vast majority of that wealth isn’t making it to us. It’s gonna end up in the hands of the private equity firms that run the elder care industry.”

So if you’re a kid in the 90s dreaming of becoming the next tech mogul, the real legacy you’re inheriting is a chain of nursing homes that will probably charge you an arm and a leg for a thank‑you card.

Assisted Suicide: A Business Strategy (or Moral Dilemma)​

There’s a side conversation that pops up in the corner of this whole mess: “Assisted suicide is a symptom of late‑stage capitalism.” The counter‑argument? If you’re running a nursing‑home empire, you’d actually want to lobby against assisted suicide because it threatens your bottom line. “Dying with dignity is bad for business,” one comment muses.

“I wonder about the opposite. If I was the elder care industry and I wanted to protect my profits, I would lobby governments not to allow assisted suicide. Dying with dignity is bad for business.”

Because, let’s be honest, a good death with a doctor’s signature on the paperwork is cheaper than a full‑scale hospice care package.

The Workers’ Tale​

You might think, “Hey, at least the workers get paid.” Nope. The grim reality? Senior‑care workers don’t get paid worth shit.

“Sad part is, senior care workers don’t get paid worth shit.”

And there you have it: a generation of retirees handing off their wealth to corporate giants, a thank‑you card that costs almost as much as a small car, and workers who’ll probably need a loan to afford the very card they’re supposed to be paying for.

TL;DR​

  • Boomers hold $17 trillion; it mostly ends up with private‑equity nursing‑home chains.
  • These firms lobby to keep assisted suicide out of the picture so they can keep the cash flowing.
  • Senior‑care workers get paid so little they might need a loan just to buy the thank‑you card.

“If you’re a kid in the 90s, you’re not inheriting a golden goose—just a nursing‑home empire and a thank‑you card that costs almost as much as a car.”

Enjoy the drama, folks!

“I hate it to break it to you friend, but the vast majority of that wealth isn’t making it to us. It’s gonna end up in the hands of the private equity firms that run the elder care industry.”

“Yep, if this happens, the younger generation gets… a thank‑you card from the nursing home and whatever’s left after private equity takes its cut.”

“Plus a $479 bill for the thank‑you card.”

“There’s a lot of talk about how assisted suicide is a symptom of late stage capitalism but I wonder about the opposite. If I was the elder care industry and I wanted to protect my profits, I would lobby governments not to allow assisted suicide. Dying with dignity is bad for business.”

“Sad part is, senior care workers don’t get paid worth shit.”