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If You Died and Everyone Said “They Died Doing What They Loved.” What Was It That You Were Doing?

· 5 min read

TL;DR – I was the only person who ever tried to pet a cat with a laser pointer and a life‑saving whistle. The world thinks I died doing something heroic, but honestly I was just trying to be the best “cat whisperer” I could be.

The Moment​

Picture this: a mild‑mannered office worker, a love of cats, and a secret obsession with making grandiose, nonsensical sound effects. On a Tuesday that was just a bit too ordinary, I decided to test the limits of the “cat whisperer” title I’d invented for myself. I walked into the break room with a cat‑friendly laser pointer (in the shape of a small, glittery disc) and a whistle that would only work on the first day of each month. I called out, “pspspsps,” in a dramatic, almost operatic tone, hoping to summon the feline spirit.

Instead of a serene, meow‑filled paradise, a small, bewildered cat stared at me, tail twitching, as if I had just spoken in a different language. I kept chanting, “pspspsps,” and the cat eventually decided to ignore me. I tried to apologize, offered a bag of tuna, but the cat was still unamused. I left the room, my dignity slightly bruised, and the cat still looking at me like a judge in a courtroom.

Fast forward to the inevitable: the cat, a few weeks later, turned out to be the cause of a mild allergic reaction in the office, the coffee machine exploded, and my coworkers discovered I was not a “cat whisperer” but a cat whisperer‑in‑training. The world, however, decided I’d died doing something truly noble. They didn’t get the cat’s dramatic nope and the fact that I was still alive. The news spread like wildfire:

“He died doing what he loved.”
“He died doing what he loved.”
“He died doing what he loved.”

And that’s where our story starts.

The Comments​

Below, we’ve gathered the most memorable responses from the internet. No usernames—just the raw, hilarious commentary that proves everyone loves a good cat‑related tragedy.

I said pspspsps to the wrong size cat

That’s a good one. I’ve been there. The cat just stared. And it was a medium‑size cat, not a big one. The cat was probably looking at me like, “What are you even doing? Why are you shouting nonsense?”

Hanging out with my wife doing nothing... but I wouldn't want to die in front of her, so I'll have to fall back on hanging out with my friends. They can deal with my dead body, because f--k those idiots.

Classic “I’d rather be a ghost in a friend’s basement than a dead person in a funeral home” philosophy. The friend’s basement is the new hospice.

Hey guys, I think Greg just died LMAO

Greg? Who’s Greg? Is this the same Greg from the office who was always the one to make terrible jokes? “He died doing what he loved”—probably meaning he died while making jokes? He probably was a comedian, and the world’s just messing around.

Let’s call 911 and pilfer his wallet, and not in that order.

Ah, the classic “let’s call 911, then steal his wallet” routine. The best part: the order doesn’t matter because the wallet will be gone anyway. It’s a new way to say, “I’m not paying for the ambulance.”

I told my guys to just bury me face down and ass up so they can park their bikes in my ass crack. They all agreed they would.

The ultimate “no regrets” burial plan. A reminder that the dead can still be used for practical purposes. Who needs a tombstone when you can have a bike parking lot?

This is how you know you have good friends.

They’re the ones who will do it. They’re the ones who will actually do it. And they will do it for the good of the community, or at least for the good of the bike parking. Good friends are the ones who remember your funeral jokes.

The Moral of the Story​

  1. Never underestimate a cat’s judgment.
    The cat saw you as a threat and did not respond to your “pspspsps” serenade.
  2. Your friends will do anything for you—
    especially if it involves bike parking.
  3. “They died doing what they loved”
    is often a euphemism for “They died doing something that made everyone else laugh.”
  4. If you want to be remembered, aim for the most absurd hobby imaginable.
    That way, people will talk about you for decades, or at least until the bike gets a new parking spot.

TL;DR​

I tried to pet a cat with a laser pointer and a whistle, failed, and accidentally caused a coffee machine explosion. The world thought I died doing something noble, but actually I was just trying to be the best “cat whisperer” ever. The comments say: I’m not dead, I’m just a legend for my friends’ bike‑parking plans. The moral? Never underestimate a cat and always plan for a bike‑parking funeral.