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How to Get a Co‑Worker to Leave? (The Contractor Edition)

· 4 min read

Picture this: you’re a hardworking employee, a contractor with a “no‑business‑to‑be‑in‑the‑office” badge, and an office assistant who thinks she’s the unofficial IT department. Your boss, the COO (who has probably seen more corporate hand‑shakes than a bartender), invites you both to lunch. The contractor starts talking… for two whole hours. You try the classic “office emergency” line, only to hear your boss whisper “I hate you” into the lunch table. The contractor has already left the building, but you’re still stuck with a long lunch and a boss who’s half‑dead inside his mind because he knows you’ll lose his most valuable asset.

The Problem​

  • Contractor: “I’m here for a reason!” (He actually has decades of experience. If he leaves, your company loses money. He’s like a rare Pokémon—hard to find and even harder to replace.)
  • Boss: “I’m the COO, so I’ve got a million things to do, but I still have to accept this lunch. I’ve been dreading it for two weeks.”
  • You: “I’d like my lunch back. I’m not a hostage.”

So, what’s the best excuse to get him out of the office without causing a full‑blown HR incident? The comments below suggest some creative options. Let’s break it down, Reddit‑style.

The “Classic” Tactic: The Emergency Call​

The original poster tried the “fake emergency” method: texting the office assistant, pretending it’s a crisis. The assistant calls, you act shocked, and the boss whispers a sad “I hate you” to you. Classic. But we can do better.

1. The “Diarrhea” Excuse​

You have diarrhea.
Commenter 1

That’s the quick‑fix approach: you’re in the bathroom for fifteen minutes, you’re out. The contractor thinks you’re on a break and leaves, and the boss finally gets the hint. Works for a quick exit, but it’s a little… stinky.

2. The “Emergency Meeting” Strategy​

Set an “emergency meeting” with your boss.
Commenter 2

Schedule it right after they return from lunch. The contractor gets called back to the office. You’re in a meeting room, pretending to be busy while you do your real work. It’s a classic “let’s pretend we’re doing something important” move.

3. The Remote‑Co‑Worker Angle​

Meeting is set. I called another co‑worker that’s working remote to set up the meeting and have some sort of “brief” ready!
Commenter 3

If you’re worried about the meeting being “just a meeting,” involve a remote colleague. It’s like a fake press conference: “We’re launching the new project, but first, we need to discuss the contractor’s… availability.”

4. The Straight‑Up “Work” Excuse​

“We have work to do,” should be all you need.
Commenter 4

Sometimes the simplest answer is the best. Just tell the contractor (and your boss) that you’re all tied up with deadlines. You can even pretend to be a spreadsheet wizard: “I’ve got to finish the budget report before we can let the contractor go.”

The Reality: The Contractor Leaves, The Boss Remains​

In the end, the contractor left the building. But the boss didn’t cut the lunch short. Why? Because the contractor is irreplaceable. In an industry where people earn $100k+ straight out of trade school with only 2–3 years of experience, losing one seasoned contractor can mean a financial disaster. The COO, being the pragmatic type, realized that even a lunch break is worth keeping that contractor in the office.

So next time you find yourself in a similar situation, remember: you can always use a bathroom break, a fake emergency meeting, or simply say “We have work to do.” And if all else fails, just remind yourself that you’re not the only one who can get a contractor to leave—just don’t make your boss the next victim.

Comments (Because Reddit Loves Them)​

You have diarrhea.

I used the bathroom excuse during lunch when we hit 1 hour. I was in the bathroom for a good 15 minutes.

Set an "emergency meeting" with your boss. Scheduled for right after they arrive back. The issue you were called away for is still unresolved.

Sequester yourselves in a meeting room and stay in there looking busy until the contractor leaves.

Meeting is set. I called another co‑worker that’s working remote to set up the meeting and have some sort of "brief" ready!

"We have work to do," should be all you need.

TL;DR: Want to get a contractor out of the office? Pretend you’re in a bathroom, schedule a fake emergency meeting, or just say “We have work to do.” The contractor will leave, the boss will get a break, and you’ll still have your lunch.