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How to Deal with Gross Noises?

· 3 min read

Picture this: you’re at the office, humming along to the faint buzz of the coffee machine, when suddenly a symphony of snorts erupts from your coworker’s nose. It’s not a new jazz band, it’s a nasal orchestra that refuses to take a bow. You’re not the only one noticing—your fellow desk‑mates are in full-blown ear‑guard mode, trying to keep their sanity while not looking like a bunch of unprofessional, sneeze‑prone zombies.

The Situation​

  • The Problem: A coworker who’s been around for a year and a half and is otherwise nice, but never stops snorting.
  • The Sound: Imagine your sinuses falling out, each snort a tiny percussion hit.
  • The Work Environment: Small, non‑customer‑facing office. The boss thinks wearing headphones or ear plugs would look bad if a customer walked in.
  • The Constraints:
    • Headphones/ear plugs are off the table.
    • Office is too cramped for desk relocation.
    • No HR department to file a formal complaint.
    • You’re worried about embarrassing or uncomfortableing your coworker.
  • The Goal: Find a solution that keeps everyone happy, professional, and noise‑free—without turning the office into a sneeze‑cave.

Common Reddit Wisdom (and why it falls flat)​

The usual go‑to advice on Reddit for dealing with a noisy coworker is “put on headphones or ear plugs.” Unfortunately, that’s not an option in this particular scenario. The boss would frown upon it, and the office is too tight for any sort of “private office” arrangement (unless you’re a secret agent with a top‑secret desk).

The (Almost) Professional Solution​

Enter the discrete professional earplugs—the quiet, unassuming little gadgets that you can wear under your shirt collar. They’re the unsung heroes of the office world, allowing you to listen to your favorite playlist without causing a scene. If the boss is a stickler for appearance, these earplugs can be a “silent ninja” solution: no one notices, but you’re still protected from the sonic assault.

How to Get the Earplugs (without blowing the office's vibe)​

  1. Ask the IT Department: They may have a stash of “quiet mode” earplugs for sensitive equipment.
  2. Buy Online: Look for “professional discreet earplugs” with a sleek design.
  3. Wear Under the Collar: Keep the appearance neutral; the only thing people will see is your calm demeanor.

The “Private Office” Angle​

Some comments suggest assigning your coworker a private office. While this might seem like a perfect solution, it’s not always feasible—especially if the office layout is cramped. But if it were possible, it would:

  • Keep the snorting out of the common areas.
  • Allow the coworker to work in peace, without the stigma of being the “snort king.”

If you can’t relocate, at least consider a quiet corner or a temporary “snort‑safe” zone with a sign: “No snorts allowed—please keep it low volume.”

TL;DR​

Someone’s nose is producing a nonstop snort‑symphony, the office refuses headphones, and HR is a myth. The solution? Grab some discrete professional earplugs (or, if you’re lucky, a private office). Keep the noise at bay, stay professional, and maybe ask your coworker to consider a nasal exam—because no one likes a literal “nasal percussion” performance.

Comments​

  • Would they assign your coworker a private office?
  • Also, there are very discreet professional earplugs. You could try those.