Coworker believes he's my boss & is micromanaging af
Not sure if I need advice or just to yell into the void. Sorry it's so long.
New coworker joined the team I've been on for a while. Nice guy, funny, personable. Our roles have a tiny bit of crossover where he basically needs to learn what I do as backup but doesn't need to do it on the regular as 80% of his job doesn't overlap mine at all.
I believe I've been generous with my time and knowledge, helping him get up to speed, understand history/background/decisions made by the cross‑department team responsible for launching the project. I've got no self‑preservation, so I've been blunt about challenges that the higher‑ups have deemed acceptable bottlenecks and how I'm happy to just do the work, you know?
Buddy Will Not Stay In His Lane. He suggested improvements to my process, refused to hear my pushback and been butthurt when I refused to change. He thinks I should be able to get the job done faster and in fact, happily said so at a meeting. In front of my boss.
Two weeks ago, my boss asked for my feedback on the new guy, and I talked about his energy and ideas, despite others complaining he was poking his nose where it didn't belong & trying to run meetings he shouldn't. He'll settle down, I said.
Last week, I asked my boss for clarity because maybe the org structure has changed and I should be taking direction from him? (hard no, boss said)
Yesterday, my boss told me he implied I'm scamming the company out of money because I work too slowly and suggested getting rid of me & hiring someone cheaper to do the job faster. FML.
WTF do you do with this BS? Confront, avoid, what? We're both contractors so going to HR is not an option.
The Comment Section (because Reddit comments are the real gold)
You better get some self‑preservation instincts going and soon. This person is willing to use you as a workplace sacrifice to bolster their own career. Are you going to let that happen?
Document everything. Start taking verbal notes of every interaction. Make sure that they communicate everything in email.
Fair point. I've already done some things that will identify the otherwise‑invisible work I do to fill my days that he has no clue about (because he doesn't need to) that will hopefully make me bulletproof if he points fingers again. Frankly, I think he's misjudged the culture here and is about to face some hard truths about his time here. I'm not normally a “document everything” person but this has been enough of a wake‑up call for me to change that.
Reminds me of a certain union I once worked for.
“You should run that by [boss's name] first. If they tell me to make that change, I'll go ahead and do that. Thanks for the suggestion though! ”
Any gender difference r age difference? That could explain it - bias.
Grey rock. Don’t share much with him. Don’t give him an opportunity to give. You direction or manage you.
When he inevitably does remind him you have it covered. That you are privy to details he is not. That it will be more efficient for him to focus on his tasks and you yours. Divide and conquer.
Keep a log off to the side with dates times and unwarranted direction descriptions. Note the time he is wasting. Share high level with boss that you are concerned that the new hire is not only inefficient but slowing down your work with constant disruptions. Share examples. Ask for “advice” on how to directly but kindly redirect peer back to their own work along w what you tried so far.
You can later ask for a seat change, provide peer feedback, ask boss how they are managing new hire etc.
TL;DR
A guy thinks he's the boss, your boss thinks you're a money‑thief, and all you can do is document, grey‑rock, and hope HR doesn't come knocking on the contractor door. Stay sane, keep a spreadsheet, and remember: the best micromanagers are the ones who never actually get the job done.