Booger Wiper Called Out
Ever had a corporate villain who makes a mess in the most unconventional place? Picture this: a Fortune 500 exec, pulling a six‑figure salary, secretly turning the men’s restroom into his personal art gallery—one booger at a time. When the employee in question tried to keep his business to himself, the EVP decided to do a “booger wipe” in the most literal sense.
The Original Post
I worked for a Fortune 500 company and we had a booger wiper who turned out to be an executive VP. This guy made six figures and reported to the CEO.
He would wipe boogers on the wall above the urinal in the men’s room.
One day I caught him because I left something in the men’s room. I had just used the urinal and there were no boogers. I was the only one in there and Mr. EVP walked in as I left.
I got about 30 feet away and realized I left something in there so I turned around went back. He was finishing up at the urinal when I walked in.
Sure enough, there were several boogers on the wall.
I waited a couple of days and printed out a note saying that I knew who he was and if he didn’t quit wiping his fucking boogers on the wall I would name him.
Well, later that day the note was gone and a fresh batch of boogers was there looking like the start of a Jackson Pollack painting.
The second note had his first name and I stated that the next offense would result in his full name being posted.
There were no more boogers in that restroom and everyone knew that one of the three Erics on the floor was the culprit.
Commentary
Lmao dude, that's insane 😆😬 Highkey though, I actually kinda rate the blatant rebellious response to ur note, like... This guy's pulling in the big bucks, prob has a corner office, yet chooses to make his mark in the most elementary (and gross) way possible? Admiration and revulsion mixed in there. An oddly intriguing power move from Mr. EVP.
We had a dude at work who would go in the same stall every day and spend a large amount of time in there. He would be listening to his phone and Whatnot. But I noticed that there were an ungodly amount of boogers on the walls everywhere in there. And every day there would be more. So I brought it to the attention of the GM and he sent out a plantwide email to stop wiping boogers in the men’s bathroom. The company I work for literally owns Kleenex. We ended up naming the guy whose name was Brad as Brad the booger bandit. Needless to say after the email it stopped.
Tried attaching the pic, won't let me, but I was at an Army installation and the sign over the urinal said, “WHY ARE YOU WIPING YOUR BOOGERS ON THE WALL?? IF YOU HAVE WONDERED WHY THE ARMY DOES NOT TREAT YOU LIKE AN ADULT, THIS... THIS IS WHY”
I worked at one of the larger movie studios in LA and there was one chairmen that would fart during meetings and just literally act like nothing happened. People with power do the weirdest fucking shit.
We had a VP who was constantly digging at his crotch and around in his nose. You would pass his office, and he would be a few knuckles deep. I swear he thought the minute the finger went in his nose he turned invisible. When he retired, they had to throw away his desk because the entire underside was crusted in boogers. I still remember it headed for the dumpster on a forklift after the facilities crew carried it out gloved up and making gagging sounds. Left a trail of crusties on the carpet.
TL;DR
Someone high‑up decided to use the men’s bathroom wall as a booger canvas. The employee threatened to expose him, but the EVP just kept wiping fresh art. Eventually, the whole office knows that the mystery “Eric” was behind the masterpiece. All hail the booger‑wiping, six‑figure exec—may your next career move involve less artistic restroom vandalism.