AITAH for keeping a “Family” cookbook that was previously thrown away
The Great Cookbook Heist
A decade ago, the family’s beloved mother‑in‑law of my sister‑in‑law (yes, that’s a mouthful) passed away. Like a well‑timed episode of House‑Clean‑and‑Throw, the house was swept, boxes were packed, and every last item deemed “unnecessary” was tossed out. One of those unfortunate relics? An old, dusty cookbook that had sat on the kitchen table for who knows how long.
Fast forward to today: I’m scrolling through my feed, looking for a recipe that will wow my guests. I snap a photo of my island—complete with a mountain of cookbooks—because, you know, visual inspiration is everything. My brother‑in‑law (BIL) spots the picture, immediately recognizes the familiar cover of the cookbook, and demands its return. I say no. I keep it. The family erupts: some side‑by‑side with me, others with him. I’ve even had to block a handful of people who were getting “REALLY rude.” The question now is: Am I the asshole for holding onto a book that was destined for the trash?
Reddit Rumble: The Comment Section
Comment 1 – “Soft YTA”
When grief is on the table, it’s easy to forget the little things. This cookbook isn’t even related to you—just a relic of someone who has long since left the earth. If you’re not using the original, just copy the recipes and return the original.
Comment 2 – “I concur”
You don’t need the book itself, so just be the bigger person. Your BIL may be the AH for the drama, but you don’t have to be one either.
Comment 3 – “Take pictures of the recipes you use and give it back.”
If the cookbook doesn’t mean much to you, why cause a family feud?
Comment 4 – “INFO: If I'm reading this correctly, the cookbook belonged to your SIL's MIL, meaning the original owner was not related to you at all? Are you on good terms with your SIL? Is this cookbook out of print, super rare or otherwise valuable? I don't think you're the asshole because yeah, the book would have been tossed if you didn't grab it. But I also know how difficult it is to sort through a loved one's belongings while you're grieving, and something like this could be easily missed in the moment. Personally, if the cookbook can be easily replaced with a new copy and you like your SIL, I'd return the original as a gesture of goodwill. You can always take photos of the pages with recipes you like.”
A gentle reminder that grief can cloud judgment. The book could be replaced, and a simple return could keep the peace.
Comment 5 – “YTA”
Make a copy, give the original back, and show some respect for the sentimental value. People are grieving—don’t be the one to ruin your in‑law relationships over a cookbook. Even if the book was about to end up in the trash, returning it is the decent thing to do.
TL;DR
You almost turned a simple cookbook into a family drama. The consensus? Keep the recipe photos, return the original, and maybe grab a copy for yourself. Your BIL will thank you, the family will stay intact, and you’ll avoid becoming the next “cookbook villain” in the household saga. 🍰🚫📚