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AITA for Not Giving My Entire Family the Dental School Shout‑Out at Thanksgiving?

· 3 min read

The “I’ve Been Accepted” (and the “I’ve Been Accepted… but I’m Keeping It to Me”)​

It all started two days before Thanksgiving, when I, a 19‑year‑old, reserved dental hygiene hopeful, finally got the acceptance letter in my mailbox. I’m the kind of person who usually only spills the big news to my closest crew—my parents, my brother, and my boyfriend. Family gatherings are like a very selective club; the rest of the extended network is basically a “you’re welcome to pretend you don’t know me” crowd.

My aunt, the hostess of the Thanksgiving table, is the only one who knows I’ve made it into a program that’s as competitive as a reality‑show audition. She has been hosting all our family events for years, and her boyfriend’s family has been part of our Thanksgiving banquets for the last two years. I’ve tried getting to know them, but they just treat me like a polite side‑note. They don’t even bother to ask about my future when I announce it—unless I personally tell them.

During the meal, my aunt starts the “What are you thankful for?” round and, of course, hits me first. Feeling the spotlight, I freeze for a second. I’d rather keep the big news to myself and not risk my aunt’s “I told you everything” monologue. I quickly think of a different line, and the rest of the conversation goes on. Later that evening, after the boyfriend’s family leaves, I finally “confess” to my aunt while the rest of us are headed out to visit his family. She’s furious. She scolds me for not telling everyone earlier, then goes on to announce my acceptance to the whole house.

People flock to ask about my future—no one from the boyfriend’s family came. That’s the proof I need: they didn’t care enough to come over, so I’m not an idiot for keeping it to myself.

Comments in the “It’s Okay, I’m Not the Asshole” Lane​

  • NTA (Not the Asshole) – “You get to decide when and who gets the news. Your aunt’s boyfriend’s family doesn’t owe you a reaction.”

  • “You can still be polite at the holidays” – “You can have a pleasant conversation with them without building a relationship.”

  • “It’s fine to just be casual acquaintances” – “No one will get mad if you keep your dental school news to a close circle.”

  • “Why keep it close?” – “If the boyfriend’s family doesn’t ask, you’re already winning.”

  • “No obligation to share” – “Your aunt was probably just excited and thinks it’s a shout‑from‑the‑roofs moment. I don’t see why you’d want to hide it.”

TL;DR​

I got accepted to dental school, didn’t tell my aunt’s boyfriend’s family, and now I’m the only person in the house who knows. They didn’t ask anyway, so apparently I’m not the big deal. Am I an asshole? No. I’m just keeping my life in my own hands. 🍽️🦷